By Your Side
by Seosh
Summary: She was left with nowhere to go, so she followed blindly into her past. One-shot.


**A/N:** This takes part around the time where they'd just left Ziva in Tel Aviv. Inspired by the song "Run" by Leona Lewis.

**Summary:** She was left with nowhere to go, so she followed blindly into her past. One-shot.

.::.

"_Light up, light up,  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you, dear._

_Louder, louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak, I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say._

"_**Run" by Leona Lewis**_

.::.

**By Your Side**

Her head panned right to left, following the massive cargo jet as it sped across the runway and inevitably out of her life. She gave an unknowing wince; she was now alone, completely in the open with her defenses gone, with _them_ gone. Doubts came flooding in and she felt like drowning because that was so much easier than to hold on to possibly go down in the end.

She hated her stubbornness in times like these, she knew Tony was right but she couldn't face the fact that she got played. That her own _father_ had set this all up for her, and she'd strolled right into it comfortably.

She had no home now. She couldn't afford to trust her father, not when his dishonorable ways had clearly overtaken his morals and to the ones that should've been closest to his heart. The anger and fury boiled within her and she wanted to just break down, scream on the top of her lungs and rip out that cold dead heart from his chest.

What kind of parent would do that to their own child? To deceive them to a stage when there is nothing but lies that filled any means of communication. She gave him a chance even though he hadn't deserved it, and maybe this situation wouldn't have ended like this if he had any guilt at all for what he did. And she knew he was lying, because _he_ had trained her to dissect everything until it was bare and there were no 'buts' or 'ifs' left.

Her breath came out partly frantic as she tried to keep herself under wraps, at least not around these people that saw her as the Director's daughter, she had to live up to expectations or she'd die in this sick society. She placed on her rigid countenance and marched off to the car, she was supposed to take Hadar back too, but fuck that! He could die in hell for all she cared; they were all in it together so he could walk home with blisters on his betraying feet.

The streets of Tel Aviv were imprinted in her mind like a virtual map, she didn't have any idea as to where she was headed off to, there was no way she'd head back to Mossad Headquarters, her anger rose at the thought and she stepped down on the pedal harder as the people around her shouted at the display of insanity.

The vehicle came to a sudden stop in front of an isolated green field, and her heart cringed tighter when she saw the little gravestone at the corner of the field. Part of her vast anger turned on herself as she realized how long it had been since she came to visit, she'd become just as heartless as Eli himself.

If anything in the world at that moment would break the bomb shelter she'd hid herself in, it was her sister, and it somehow comforted her with the silence that stared back at her. She grimaced, it was like she could see her disapproving face, asking her what she'd become, and that this person that stood before her was not the sister that danced in the ballet recitals with her.

A lone tear etched its way down her cheeks and it seemed more followed as she tried harder to hold them back. Her whole body fell down to the ground, her knees landed with a deafening thud and she shuddered next to the stone. And she must've really gone completely delirious when a mirage of her sister appeared and approached her.

It felt so real it scared her as Tali curled up to her side, she was still a mere child and her innocent eyes begged at Ziva not to give up. That she'd always believed in her, believed that she would be the stronger one in this family of cowards that used violence to run from everything. Giving up now would not only betray her sister's trust but herself and everything she believed in.

And then the child disappeared, her image shattered into the humid air around her. And it was not a surprise when she felt _his_ presence behind her, she jumped to her feet and wiped away her tears at once, and she hated that she was so accustomed to hide her weaknesses.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she spat the question in disdain, not even wanting to mention his name.

"I am sorry Ziva, I should not –" he took a step closer and she took a step back.

"Yes you should not have! And yet you still did!" she felt like striking him in the jugular as she shouted at him, her voice cracking with each syllable.

"I did what I did to get you back!" he said sternly, his temper that he'd tried to hold back was starting to reveal itself.

"From where?"

"From America! Is your loyalty with me or not Ziva? You cannot choose both," and his voice softened a little as he ran his hand through his hair frustrated.

"You could not have just asked me?" her voice was deep and hurt-filled.

"What would you have said Ziva?" and she knew the answer to that, she'd have chosen America because she had everything there, and _he_ was there, "exactly, and that is why I did what I did."

"You did not have to trap me into loving Michael to bring me back," she paused while her thoughts gathered and her head rose back up with anger, "you are lying right now."

"No, I am not," the hurt on her face smacked him right across the face, "I am not telling you everything."

"Why?"

"Because it is not something you need to know," he turned to leave, but not before her voice called back out to him.

"Was it Tony?" he pocketed his hands and slanted his head in question, "Was it Tony?"

"That man is nothing but trouble Ziva, he killed a Mossad Officer," and she fitted the puzzle pieces together, the photographs, the mishaps that linked Michael to NCIS, that was his intention all along. He sacrificed one of his own officers all just for a confirmation.

"There was nothing going on between us."

"Now you are lying," he walked off this time with no intrusion and it left her a little bowled over, she wasn't lying but it felt wrong as it left her lips. A strange sensation flared through her body as she remembered his eyes, his smile and everything that they ever were.

His incessant quoting of movies and jokes everyday brought a sad smile to her face; and he eyebrows furrowed as she questioned their friendship if you could call it that. And for her to doubt herself meant that their constant banter, flirts were more than what meets the eye. She exhaled a breath that she held onto and threw that memory out of the window. She didn't need it right now, didn't need his face, _him_ in general to make her regret or remind her of the closest thing to happiness that she had ever felt and what a fool she was to not have seized it when she had the chance.

Her gaze fell back to Tali's gravestone for something, an answer, anything that would prompt her as to what to do next, because she just didn't know. And though her head shouted to her there was no way she'd go back, the beseeching image of her sister pleaded her to go. She nodded her head in a alight curtsey and headed back to the car with a resolution in mind.

She would not let down her sister, even though her hatred for everyone and everything right now gave her more than enough reasons to quit.

_I promise._

.::.

A/N: Review on your way out! Thanks for reading!


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